The pool, the gardener and life in condoville

"So Eleanor - you haven't provided  us withany updates on condoville. How has summer been, anyway?"

Actually, given the absolutely great bordering on fantastic (I love that term "bordering on") July we had with hot temps, life has been idyllic. Most of the time has been spent by the pool and on occasion there have been a dozen people lounging in the new blue chaise chairs, some of whom actually swim. Just being sarcastic. I'm probably one of the few non-swimmers who rarely dip a toe in the water unless the combination of heat and humidity become unbearable. It's interesting that so few people take advantage of the pool, generally, especially it's used by two condo bldgs. On most days perhaps there are eight to ten people on average with your lap swimmers using the pool in the early morning hours. The afternoon is for the "leisure loungers" who take dips between reading a book or listening to music through whatever device. The weekends are for family visits with lots of young people and children dropping by. There have been some complaints (so what else is new!) expressed focusing on children splashing. I mean - c'mon! Pool=water=wet! Don't go in the water if you don't want to get wet is my philosophy! Wear one of those hideous plastic shower caps if you want to retain your newly coiffed hair! The other complaint is that the kids are too noisy! Gimme a break!

Seems that these days everyone is wearing a two piece or bikini bathing suit, even those whose body shapes certainly aren't made for an excessive display of skin. My bathing suit of choice is a one-piece since I've accumulated cellulite over the years along with dropped muscle syndrome. That's what I call flab that has nowhere else to go but down due to gravity's influence. A lot of our discussions focus on the various bikini color choices, style and whether or not the wearer does the suit justice.

Last but not least, the last paint job by whatever company the condo board hired is a bust, with more and more of the former color showing through. This means that the surface is not fully protected. What type of pool service uses the wrong paint, anyway? I mean...really... At least the pool surface isn't slippery any more.

"So Eleanor - what's new with the so-called gardener/whatever these days?"

The flower beds are blech. More than blech - they're blechy/pffffft. In the years I've lived here, have never seen such a mish-mash of flower types and bad color combinations. You have your orange marigolds, which are such - excuse my snobbishness - common types, mixed with pink wave petunias, sedum placed here, there and everywhere, astilbe...you name it, chances are it's growing somewhere in one of the flower beds. Just blechy is the only word that comes to mind but there are others I can assure you. Nobody asked us, the people who pay the condo fees, our opinion. Mind you, in our condo bulletin, there was a piece focusing on the gardener and it appears that people are taking their complaints directly to her, one-on-one. Good for them! The condo board on their part, asked people to complain to the condo director who is in charge of the garden. Been there - done that and didn't do any good. Yup - it's an obsession on my part but one that will be over shortly since summer flowers do disappear in autumn.

Tickets have gone out for the autumn party-in-the-park. Instead of party sandwiches, it will be roasted corn and hotdogs. I'm not big on hot dogs or corn, actually, but I'll indulge and swoosh it down with a glass of cold white wine. In attendance will be the usual singing DJ who will play lots of spanish type dancing music since this gets about a dozen people dancing and everyone will sing out choruses of "New York, New York..." along with "Copacabana"...and some Beatle music thrown in for good measure.

Summer life is good in condoville. Relaxing by the pool, watching and listening to the boats as they make their way over the river, the sound of the river life including the honking of the Canada geese... Their return can only mean one thing: autumn is around the corner.

What's happening in condoville these days, anyway? Glad you asked

So right now people reading this are asking themselves: "what's happening in condoville, anyway, these days?" More than likely, people are or at least could be, wondering about our - well - different condo gardener.

For those not up to date on the continuing saga, our condo board hired someone to remodel our small placette or over-look, that over looks the pool. Although it was still visually attractive with beautiful flowers planted between wooden railway ties along with wooden stairs, the old placette was falling apart. There was a lot of speculation as to whether or not it required a complete demolition job down to the earth, but in the end the condo board hired a female contractor/architecht/whatever to update the look. The new and improved model is composed of stone and cement with a plexiglass railing erected around the circumference. Very modern looking.

We assumed, obviously incorrectly, that this would be the extent of the architect's/whatever duties but for whatever reason, a decision was made to hire her as the gardener. It would be interesting to know at this point and especially after she planted eight rose bushes, seven of which subsequently died, what her credentials are to handle this task. She did, however, ensure that a drip water system was installed at who knows how much, to gently water the now dead roses. It does make one wonder when a gardener shows up to work the earth wearing high heels and a shovel. Period. I lie - she did produce shears two weeks ago. Since she likes perennials so she planted them here, there and everywhere. No layout plan to speak of and the end result is a mish-mash or...stuff. Species include yellow marigolds, red impatiens, pink/white petunias, large leaved hosta plants, astilbe - you name it - chances are we have it growing - somewhere. Utterly, again IMHO, blechy and a mess.

Enough ranting.

Two weeks ago the annual Summer Party in the Park was held in the park accross the street. The menu as is the case for the summer fete, was party sandwiches (I adore party sandwiches!), pizza(!) donated by a major pizza chain, veggies and dip, chips, wine and coffee and mini danish. As usual, there was the usual DJ who played everything from rock music for dancing, waltz, lots of latin numbers that the crowd seemed to really get into and as the evening wore on, the music of Barry Manilow slowed things down. No hip-hop, though. We always make our getaway upon the mosquitos arrival. They're always the unwanted interlopers on any evening event especially when we're the food!

The pool - well - the paint is chipping/flaking off the surface of the pool but the good news is at least it's not slippery any more. How can a pool company use the wrong paint for an outdoor pool? Obviously, they managed. I dunno... Oh and there are now new pool chairs. Opinion is mixed on whether the old one's were better and more comfortable. Doesn't make any difference in the end since the old chairs are no more, anyway. Visually, they match the pool water.

Still haven't spotted the little wood turtles that were seen sunning themselves on a rock last summer during a walk on the path but there's still time to find them. Meanwhile, it's going to be a busy at the pool this weekend with hot temps and lots of sun, drawing youngsters and teens in to cool off. There are condo-villers who complain that they splash too much. I mean - c'mon - it's a pool! Right? Never a dull moment - to be continued...

Flowery conclusion: more flowers - and gardening expertise - is required

Took a stroll around the newly adorned flower bed that separates our two condo buildings. As mentioned in the previous commentary, the gardening designer is now in charge of planting flowers.

Big mistake.

Initially, this move seemed harmless enough. I mean, how can one screw up planting flowers, especially if one is supposed to be an expert in this area. Right? Today's little walk-around reveals that she didn't appear to put much thought into her choice of blooms and many of blooms that were planted are half, if not conpletely, dead. As in gone to meet the composter. There are wilted petunias - color unknown, impatiens that appear to be a pink shade - difficult to tell since they're shrivelled, orange marigolds (baaaad color mix!) and other species. The problem down the line when they start spreading out (if they ever get that far) is that they were planted too far apart, most likely as a money-saving move. Hey - our condo fees are supposed to cover this area.

Forgot to mention that while planting the flowers, she also brought along a large plastic, black container that is used by garden centres to hold new trees before transplanting. Inside, as it was revealed, she had divided up some what must have been perennials, for transplanting with the annuals. I mean - c'mon - talk about saving money! It is most surprising since in past years our flower displays have always been sumptuous and a treat for the eyes. This year the best that can be said about them is mediocre.

The grecian urns in front of the condo buildings now contain a puny mix of - wait for it - petunias. That's it! Six or eight petunias in a large urn. They look lost, poor things.

Basically, very disappointed and not at all impressed with the gardening accumen of this so-called expert, if indeed she is an expert. Will make a point of finding out her professional pedigree and background.

In conclusion - at least for now - but rest assured more comments will be forthcoming - it's a mix-and-not-match display. Blech!

UPDATE!! The garden designer...whatever/whoever, has just arrived and is currently looking over the plants in the overlook/placette. Correction: she has a pen and paper and is counting the plants. Counting...plants? What and why is she performing this task? I can tell her without having to count them that more are required. She has now moved over to the flower beds between the two condo bldgs. and is continuing to count or assessing the almost dead and/or dying plants.

A member of the condo board has arrived on the scene and it appears at least from my vantage point, that he is posing questions about...everything, especially the empty areas. We'll see what, if anything, more she adds to the beds.

The latest in condoville - the gardener cometh and other stuff

Yesterday and today being gorgeously, brilliant sunny days, things have suddenly become a hive of activity in preparation for the summer season of fun-in-the-sun, condo style.

Over the past week, the gardening-designer who shows up in non-gardening/fashionable outfits, has been making daily visits in her small-ish car filled to capacity with flowers, intent on filling in the empty spaces. Why she doesn't wear plain, old jeans/overalls and boots is a mystery. Watching her from my vantage point in front of the window behind the vertical blinds, her choice of flower species and color mixtures is somewhat questionable. As a former gardening aficienado and a home owner, my philosophy was to stick to two or three main colors and flower types, however here in condoville, there is now a mixture of yellows, pinks, reds, consisting of pansies, petunias and some other types unrecognizable as yet. Although there is a longing to hang around while standing close by and discussing her flower choices, somehow she doesn't strike me as a person who welcomes discussion. Meanwhile, yesterday, she was busy adding still more flowers to her pride-and-joy project, the overlook/placette, which is now over-flowing with color. She has even convinced the condo boards to install separate watering devices, a drip system for the rose bushes and a sprinkle system for the rest. One ponders the rationale behind this expense since roses seem to die with or without extra "TLC" in my experience. Checking over the placette flower bed today, noticed there are already two rose bushes that have gone to meet their maker, drip or no drip. But I digress.

Seems we now have new pool chairs this summer already placed around the pool. They are a striking shade of blue, matching the color of the pool when filled with water. Very modern-looking but already there is dissention among some residents since the chairs don't have arm rests. Speaking of the pool and unbelievable as this is even to write, the big pool is filled with water! The baby pool is still empty but then it doesn't require new chairs so there's no rush to add water. Usually, the pool remains empty until mid-June but this year they decided to start early, probably in response to the plethora of complaints made about the slippery pool surface. The pool company, for their part, claim the surface will dull over time and become less slideable. This is an acceptable rationalization?

Also great news in as far as the annual condo art show is concerned with the show set for June 11th. I'm already mentally selecting the art pieces for display and hopefully, for sale. As usual, most will focus on landscapes and flowers...and flowers...and...

The yearly condo meeting is scheduled for the end of this month and it will be interesting to see and hear the complaints. There are always complaints. Then there is the summer party in the park in June... Lots of happenings to report.

Getting down and dirty in condoville

At long last, somebody finally - accent on the finally - removed the dried out Christmas tree put up last December with lights clinging pathetically to its limp, brown branches.. Or holiday tree depending on your personal beliefs. It's about time! There is nothing sadder than a fir tree that has lost its color and dead. Why 'they' waited so long is anybody's guess but given that the area in which it stood is surrounded by trees, the ground probably remained frozen and unyielding to removal. In retrospect, it was a pathetic display, anyway, compared to past years. Pure speculation here but the condo boards were probably looking at the financial bottom line to save money on electricity. Guaranteed this will be brought up at the condo meeting next month. Should be interesting.

Now that the ground is workable, the gardening designer who oversaw the renovation of the overlook/placette has been put in charge of flower planting. Given the price of the renovation, perhaps this is not such a good idea. She showed up in what can be described as designer gardening duds and emptied her car filled with flowering bushes, to be planted in the green stretch of land dividing our two condo buildings. The assistant, who arrived a half-hour later wearing very un-gardening clothes including white/beige colored shoes, was assigned to digging holes for the new shrubs. Bet he never expected to be digging holes dressed like that! He did not appear to be enjoying his task using a straight-edged shovel, the only tool they had obviously brought along, when a spade would have made the job so much easier. One has to question the lack of tools given their gardening task. To her credit, the gardening designer did put on a pair of orange(!) plastic gloves that stretched up to her elbow. Clashed with the rest of her outfit if you ask me. As for the assistant, he disappeared somewhere for a while.

The Day After the Planting

Unbelievable to see but it's snowing and raining outside, today as it has on-and-off for the last couple of days, with the temperature barely above freezing. Hopefully, all the small flowering bushes will survive. April is such a fickle month and perhaps it would have been wiser to wait until the end of the month or the first week in May. But Ms Garden Designer knows better. We'll see.

Another subject that will most likely be brought up at the annual condo meeting is the renovation of the overlook/placette. This is the small landscaped area with seating area, which overlooks the pool. Renovated last year at a steep price, opinion is divided as to its esthetic value, overall. It has gone from a wood-based structure to that consisting of cement and plexi-glass railing. As I mentioned, opinion is divided especially where dollar values is concerned.

The barbeque on the balcony will have to wait for a while although the weather is supposed to turn warm next week. Promises, promises...

A pool of discontent

This has been a really hot summer, the type of summer that reminds people of their past with fondness.

"Remember when we were (insert year or age) and it was so hot that... (insert personal recollection)?"

It's surprising, then, that more people didn't use the pool to cool off. In the morning the pool was busy with a dozen or so lap swimmers in addition to Ms. Cruela deVile and her aqua fitness ladies twice per week, while the afternoon hours were used sparsely by condo-villers mainly to stand around, gossip and dunk intermittantly. However, problems arose when some of the morning lap swimmers made it known that they required the entire length of the pool to extend their lap swimming into the afternoon. Not surprisingly, this did not go over well with the leisure dunk-and-dippers who expressed the opinion that they had the right to do nothing if they so desired and stand motionless anywhere in the pool they damn well feel like it.

"We need lanes!" one of the lap swimmers pleaded her case. "Why can't people just stand on the side until we finish?"

"Did you do your laps this morning?" I questioned, to which she responded affirmatively. "You can't regulate where people can stand in the pool! Why don't you do laps on the side of the pool?"
A look of horror crossed her face.

"We need room to do strokes!" she went on, "and not run into people standing around!"

"Exactly!" I responded. "Just move to the side and everyone will be happy."

Another issue this summer for some people were splashers, the ordinary folk who splash when they kick while swimming, or diving in the pool or children having fun.

"Why do they have to splash everywehre?" one of the anti-splashers asked to which I answered: "why are you in a pool, then? You can't get wetter-than-wet!"

A condo-viller made a request, would you believe, to have the diving board removed so that she would have more room to do laps. It's true!

"They can dive off the side," she concluded.

The pool will be closed this weekend, which will end the bickering - for this year. Heaven knows what they'll come up with next summer.

Walking tour of condoville

Yet another crisis in condoville this week. As Roseanne Roseannadanna used to say: it's always something. It's a crisis when related to the pool and once again the heater was down. There were a few cool evenings causing the water temperature to drop substantially. Predictably, this did not go over well with the morning regulars.

"The water was so cold this morning," one of the lap swimmers complained. "It's ridiculous having to swim in an unheated pool," she railed on, placing the blame on the condo association trying to save money. I suppose it's a possibility but not likely. I'm sure the condo pool committee don't appreciate phone calls at all hours and having to listen to pool regulars rant and rave about water temps. Officially, the pool heater was broken but Ms morning swimmer wasn't convinced and believes a plot is afoot. Whatever... Okay - so the water temperature was 74F instead of the usual 83F but there are worse things in life! Things are now back to normal and the water is a comfortable 80F although there is grumbling that it should be at least 82F. Still more complaints about swimmers splashing while doing their strokes. I mean, the only way to avoid getting splashed is to stay out of the pool. Gimme a break!

A familiar voice stopped me in my tracks while passing the pool on my way for a walk. It was the familiar and melodious sound of Ms Aqua Fitness Cruela Deville shouting out instructions to her willing aqua fitness slaves.

"Take your noodles and place them under your arms!" Cruela barked out in addition to yelling out other commands. After 5 minutes of listening to her and the delighted reaction of the participants who actually appeared to enjoy her screeching, the memory of our short and not-so-sweet work-out sessions compelled me to depart.

The river has receded considerably due to the unseasonably hot summer this season with huge boulders jutting out at the shore line. Living in an area near a river with lots of greenery and trees in addition to a walking path, we are partners with wild life that call the area home. Spotted two small pond turtles sunning themselves on a boulder and a huge groundhog ran accross the path in front of me. Ducks are in abundance and most of them seem able to withstand a frigid cold Canadian winter. ,Most likely they manage to survive with the help of human handouts.

Next week is the autumn party in the park accross the street. Gotta remember to bring along tooth picks this time since corn on the cob is on the menu. Not socially acceptance to pick out the kernels with one's finger. Actually, not much better to pick one's teeth with tooth picks either.

Lounging by the slippery pool

It's been a sweltering run of hot weather that has drawn condo-villers to cool off in the pool that was newly painted last month. Thing is the condo board for whatever reason - saving money springs to mind - decided to change the pool company servicing the pool. Not such a smart move. This is the same company that took forever to show up to re-paint the pool interior, which resulted in a late opening. As if this wasn't bad enough, the company used a paint that left the surface slippery. Think of walking on wet tiles and you get the idea. Now the pool is filled and the slippery situation was brought to the attention of the condo administration, who in turn responded by adding large black mats at the bottom of the pool in the shallow end and all along the wall. Looks kind of - well - dumb-ish. Thing is, the rest of the pool surface is still slippery and one can only hope that they won't line the entire pool with black mats. Anything is possible...

Some kids visiting the pool unaware of the pool rules one assumes, and who inadvertantly brought water toys in the pool, were quickly advised by an administrator that this was a no-no. Their protective grandmother who happened to be watching nearby, took personal umbrage and proceeded to express her unhappiness loudly and vociferously to the administrator in no uncertain terms.

"What kind of pool is this?" she yelled out so that everyone could hear, going on a rant for a good five minutes. "Children have to play! This isn't a jail!" In the end it didn't do any good and they played with those syrofoam noodles for the remainder of their stay in the pool. I think it bothered the grandmother more than it did the kids.

There are only three round tables with umbrellas, located in primo locations. The thing to do now especially given the strong summer sun is to arrive early at the pool, plop towels and other pool-related accessories on the table and chairs to reserve the spot early as in 1:00 p.m., before people start arriving. So far no one has challenged the reserve-ists as to their practice but we'll see if anyone says anything before the season ends. It's not really fair.

As always the pool temperature is a hot topic in the true sense of the word. Some people prefer the water temp on the cooler side at 79(!)F while others want it kept at 83F. Given the air temperature, which has been hovering at 9oF, the pool water has been a constant 84F. Everyone has an opinion ranging from, "too warm - it's like taking a bath!" to "perfect temperature!" I tend to fall into the latter category.

Nothing like lounging on a noodle while listening to the speed boats race by on the river and to people quibble about the water temperature. Life is good.

Rules rule the pool

It's a beautiful, warm sunny day with nary a cloud in the sky. Birds are in fine form, chirping away while on the river, boat owners take advantage of the perfect conditions moving their water-bound vehicle accross the water leaving ripples in their wake. The newly painted pool is finally open and condo-villers are making use of it. Morning is when the lap swimmers do lengths while the afternoon is for the casual set in designer bathing suits to lounge around the pool.

Interesting that in spite of all the media reports about the danger of skin cancer, there are sun worshippers who are obviously convinced that a tan is preferable to having to go through treatment for cancer. They appear to not be convinced since their solution is to apply sun protection lotion and then broil in the sun for a couple of hours.

While on the elevator, noticed that the power(s)- that-be posted all their rules governing the pool. Lots of "can't do's" like absolutely no water or food whatsoever in the pool area, even though there are three tables and beach umbrellas presumably for this purpose, no toys in the pool (a personal grit-my-teeth rule) and so on. Have to confess that on occasion I bring along a container of apple juice and take an occasional swig hiding my face in my beach bag when nobody is looking. I'm sure somebody is watching, somewhere on their balcony and a rumor will circulate that I'm an alcoholic. One of the strangest rules and it seems applicable in most private pools I've visited, is that swimmers must take a shower before entering the water. There is a big sign posted on the wall between the changing/bathrooms so this must be an important issue. The only logical reason that comes to mind is that this rule was created in case would-be swimmers wear dirty bathing suits and/or don't bathe and thereby could pollute the pool. I mean, why else is this rule applied? The pool thermometer is back hanging from a rope after its disappearance last year. The thermometer is a favorite gathering spot for swimmers and is checked frequently by those who feel the temperature shouldn't be below 80 degrees F. 79 is too cool and 82 is definitely preferable. I'm among the latter.

Aqua fitness should start any time now providing there is enough joiners. I'll know the exact moment when Ms Aqua Fitness Cruela de Ville's lilting voice echoes throughout. I'm sure she means well...then again...

Space - the parking garage

Go figure that the parking garage would be a cause of friction. The front bumpers of our car have been dented three times now. Not badly mind you but visible none-the-less. Heaven forbid the "bumper" should leave a note of appology to the "bumpees" or pass along an anonymous hint that would point to the guilty car. It's like the condo residents take an oath of silence to ignore anything that could cause a verbal confrontation. Unlike TV shows which can narrow down potential perps by analyzing paint chips, a lot of the parked cars have bumps. Go know!

In order to narrow down the culprits, my husband deduced by the placement of the small dent(s) that it was the condo shopping cart used to transport grocery bags back to the apartments, which did the damage. When confronted with evidence the owner of the garage space on the left denied any culpability.

"I'm careful!" he responded maybe a little too quickly indicating some potential feelings of guilt. "How come you pick on me?" The owner of the other garage space on the other side not surprisingly, also denied any involvement.

Incensed with everyone's indifference, a hand-made sign was posted informing everyone who passing through the parking garage that our car had been the victim of a shopping cart-hit-and-run. It made my husband feel better but embarrassed the heck out of me! Never a dull moment.

Yesterday,somebody blatantly and openly smoked a cigarette,a no-no, in the parking garage, which is considered common area governed by condo rules. The one thing one learns quickly living in condoville is that there are rules governing...practically everything.

A condo is an apartment with lots of neighbors

Moving into a condo has been interesting from a life-changing perspective. Having lived in a house for umpteen years, the first adjustment was getting used to the idea that we're no longer alone. This means movement from the upstairs neighbors who I call "The Clickety-Clicks" since one of them sounds like they're wearing high heels. Actually, it could be both of them come to think of it.

It's particularly annoying when I'm attempting to focus on my writing or painting a canvas. Mentally, I find myself following their footsteps as they 'clickety-click' while moving around their apartment.

Clickety-click.... Clickety-click...back and forth, back and forth.

On occasion in utter frustration, I find myself screaming - okay not screaming, yelling softly, because neighbors won't like that - "shut-up...shut-up...shut-up!" I've threatened to physically confront the C-C's but have been restrained by my husband. I mean, what would I say?

"Hi there. I live downstairs. Your slippers or shoes or whatever you wear on your feet are driving me up the wall! Kindly exchange them for a quiet sole. There's some on sale at Walmart."
I suppose I could send them an anonymous letter but it wouldn't be difficult to narrow down the letter writer, which could prove embarrassing.

Anyway, it's quiet upstairs since they've left for Florida. At least I think they're gone. I could swear I heard footsteps yesterday. Meanwhile, Mr. Happiness who rarely cracks a smile, is leaving the condo shopping cart in the hall in front of his apartment, instead of returning it to its usual place in the garage. It's always something.