What's happening in condoville these days, anyway? Glad you asked

So right now people reading this are asking themselves: "what's happening in condoville, anyway, these days?" More than likely, people are or at least could be, wondering about our - well - different condo gardener.

For those not up to date on the continuing saga, our condo board hired someone to remodel our small placette or over-look, that over looks the pool. Although it was still visually attractive with beautiful flowers planted between wooden railway ties along with wooden stairs, the old placette was falling apart. There was a lot of speculation as to whether or not it required a complete demolition job down to the earth, but in the end the condo board hired a female contractor/architecht/whatever to update the look. The new and improved model is composed of stone and cement with a plexiglass railing erected around the circumference. Very modern looking.

We assumed, obviously incorrectly, that this would be the extent of the architect's/whatever duties but for whatever reason, a decision was made to hire her as the gardener. It would be interesting to know at this point and especially after she planted eight rose bushes, seven of which subsequently died, what her credentials are to handle this task. She did, however, ensure that a drip water system was installed at who knows how much, to gently water the now dead roses. It does make one wonder when a gardener shows up to work the earth wearing high heels and a shovel. Period. I lie - she did produce shears two weeks ago. Since she likes perennials so she planted them here, there and everywhere. No layout plan to speak of and the end result is a mish-mash or...stuff. Species include yellow marigolds, red impatiens, pink/white petunias, large leaved hosta plants, astilbe - you name it - chances are we have it growing - somewhere. Utterly, again IMHO, blechy and a mess.

Enough ranting.

Two weeks ago the annual Summer Party in the Park was held in the park accross the street. The menu as is the case for the summer fete, was party sandwiches (I adore party sandwiches!), pizza(!) donated by a major pizza chain, veggies and dip, chips, wine and coffee and mini danish. As usual, there was the usual DJ who played everything from rock music for dancing, waltz, lots of latin numbers that the crowd seemed to really get into and as the evening wore on, the music of Barry Manilow slowed things down. No hip-hop, though. We always make our getaway upon the mosquitos arrival. They're always the unwanted interlopers on any evening event especially when we're the food!

The pool - well - the paint is chipping/flaking off the surface of the pool but the good news is at least it's not slippery any more. How can a pool company use the wrong paint for an outdoor pool? Obviously, they managed. I dunno... Oh and there are now new pool chairs. Opinion is mixed on whether the old one's were better and more comfortable. Doesn't make any difference in the end since the old chairs are no more, anyway. Visually, they match the pool water.

Still haven't spotted the little wood turtles that were seen sunning themselves on a rock last summer during a walk on the path but there's still time to find them. Meanwhile, it's going to be a busy at the pool this weekend with hot temps and lots of sun, drawing youngsters and teens in to cool off. There are condo-villers who complain that they splash too much. I mean - c'mon - it's a pool! Right? Never a dull moment - to be continued...

A pool of discontent

This has been a really hot summer, the type of summer that reminds people of their past with fondness.

"Remember when we were (insert year or age) and it was so hot that... (insert personal recollection)?"

It's surprising, then, that more people didn't use the pool to cool off. In the morning the pool was busy with a dozen or so lap swimmers in addition to Ms. Cruela deVile and her aqua fitness ladies twice per week, while the afternoon hours were used sparsely by condo-villers mainly to stand around, gossip and dunk intermittantly. However, problems arose when some of the morning lap swimmers made it known that they required the entire length of the pool to extend their lap swimming into the afternoon. Not surprisingly, this did not go over well with the leisure dunk-and-dippers who expressed the opinion that they had the right to do nothing if they so desired and stand motionless anywhere in the pool they damn well feel like it.

"We need lanes!" one of the lap swimmers pleaded her case. "Why can't people just stand on the side until we finish?"

"Did you do your laps this morning?" I questioned, to which she responded affirmatively. "You can't regulate where people can stand in the pool! Why don't you do laps on the side of the pool?"
A look of horror crossed her face.

"We need room to do strokes!" she went on, "and not run into people standing around!"

"Exactly!" I responded. "Just move to the side and everyone will be happy."

Another issue this summer for some people were splashers, the ordinary folk who splash when they kick while swimming, or diving in the pool or children having fun.

"Why do they have to splash everywehre?" one of the anti-splashers asked to which I answered: "why are you in a pool, then? You can't get wetter-than-wet!"

A condo-viller made a request, would you believe, to have the diving board removed so that she would have more room to do laps. It's true!

"They can dive off the side," she concluded.

The pool will be closed this weekend, which will end the bickering - for this year. Heaven knows what they'll come up with next summer.

Space - the parking garage

Go figure that the parking garage would be a cause of friction. The front bumpers of our car have been dented three times now. Not badly mind you but visible none-the-less. Heaven forbid the "bumper" should leave a note of appology to the "bumpees" or pass along an anonymous hint that would point to the guilty car. It's like the condo residents take an oath of silence to ignore anything that could cause a verbal confrontation. Unlike TV shows which can narrow down potential perps by analyzing paint chips, a lot of the parked cars have bumps. Go know!

In order to narrow down the culprits, my husband deduced by the placement of the small dent(s) that it was the condo shopping cart used to transport grocery bags back to the apartments, which did the damage. When confronted with evidence the owner of the garage space on the left denied any culpability.

"I'm careful!" he responded maybe a little too quickly indicating some potential feelings of guilt. "How come you pick on me?" The owner of the other garage space on the other side not surprisingly, also denied any involvement.

Incensed with everyone's indifference, a hand-made sign was posted informing everyone who passing through the parking garage that our car had been the victim of a shopping cart-hit-and-run. It made my husband feel better but embarrassed the heck out of me! Never a dull moment.

Yesterday,somebody blatantly and openly smoked a cigarette,a no-no, in the parking garage, which is considered common area governed by condo rules. The one thing one learns quickly living in condoville is that there are rules governing...practically everything.